juicy-bliss: If my jokes offend you: I’m sorry It won’t happen again 1 & 2 are lies You’re a pussy
My BFF Coming out to her 89 Year old Grandmother
BFF: Grandmother I need to talk to you
Grandma: [concerned voice] What? What is it? Are you sick?
BFF: No, no. Grandma. I'm gay.
BFF: I'm gay Grandma. I have a girlfriend now.
Grandma: [relieved voice] Oh honey, is that all? I thought you had cancer. Anytime someone needs to tell me something they are sick. Who's your girlfriend, when is her birthday? I'll bake her a pie.
mintmeow: i’ve got 99 problems and being a decaying organism that’s born to die in a society run by money that i can’t escape is one of them
I want you to crave me. From my lips, up to my words.– J.E (via pathogen)